Oh, my aching ass!! Hate the bed – love the shower!
On this day I set out to take photos of the beautiful mansions on Chestnut Street. My purpose? To look for Coffin Doors. Yes, you heard that right – Coffin Doors! In the old days, there were no funeral homes to take care of everything when someone died. The families had all the death festivities at home. The front door or Coffin Door was really a normal door and a third. They were really a 3-part door big enough to make it easier to remove the coffin and the body out of the house for burial. Here’s a photo I took of said door-type. Sort of creepy don’t you think?
Anyway I go back to Red’s for breakfast. Looking cool again. This day … a silver glittered tunic with black capris underneath, purple and black stripped socks to my knees and ankle-high black suede boots. Today, a little different reaction from people. They are looking but it’s not really friendly. From the women, they slide their eyes up and down me and then it’s kind of a “Why didn’t I think of that?” attitude. The guys ARE talking to ME! How strange. They don’t talk to me in Houston at all. It’s all looks …. it’s the clothes. I’m always the same person. I’m always Janet!
Some of the attention I’m getting is kind of scary. I am alone after all and I’m walking all over this busy town taking pictures with an expensive camera or two. I’m being careful. I spy some house builders up ahead, one of them stopping to look at me a little to long, a little too hard. I turn around and walk the other way. I spy another guy walking towards me. I don’t like his looks. I step out into the street and put a couple of parked cars between us. If he grabs me, I’ll bite his balls off. I ain’t kidding either! Teeth = balls, that’s the ticket!
I then make my way around to the Howard Street Cemetery by the old Salem jail. I can’t get in this one and I don’t feel exactly comfortable here. I don’t know why, it’s just that something gives me the creeps here. I’ll be on my way thank you very much! But before I go, I snap some photos of the houses here and guess what?! One of these photos gets featured in the Salem Tourist Guide 2011 and that’s it there on the left! Good gawd, who would have ever thought that would happen!
I now wind my way around to the Witch House, my favorite house here in Salem. I do love the Witch House! It looks like a witch house but guess what? There’s never been a witch in it! It’s all hype. One of the judges of the witch trials owned it and lived there but there were never any witches there. Well now that sounds kind of dumb. There were no witches at the witch trials either! I’m a dumb ass. Anywho, I go inside for my first time and spend quite some time and get lots of pictures. The guy that works there likes what I’m wearing and we joke about me dropping glitter in the Witch House. At least I’m leaving something he can remember me by. I make a point to move some of the artifacts a little out of place here and there. Mark my territory I guess you’d call it. I haven’t been called a witch my whole life for nothing, right? Right! Now there’s been a witch in the Witch House …… kidding!!
Speaking of the Witch House, check this photo out that I took in the Witch House. Am I going crazy or does that look like the image of a witch’s face in the artifact? Do you see it?”
As I’m walking back to the Hawthorne, I see this guy with long hair, a black duster coat with a shovel thrown over his shoulder. My kind of guy! As I walk by him, he falls in next to me and starts walking with me all the way down the Pedestrian Mall. Turns out he’s a Salem tour guide and asks what I’m doing tonight and why don’t I come to the ghost tour. I say I just might do that as I notice that he’s got just about every other tooth missing. On second thought ………. As we are walking and talking, I mention to him where I’m from and that I have a friend who has a popular ghost tour in Galveston, Texas that does very well. I mention that there are a lot of ghosts in Galveston what with the 1900 Hurricane and all and the guy reminds me that a lot of people have died in Salem over the years as well and loses interest in me and kind of wanders off. Can you say competition? Too funny! At least our guy in Galveston has all his teeth!!!
Ahhh, still walking down the Pedestrian Mall… My meetup with the gravedigger was fun but I got the chills from a funky friendly vampire who so reminded me of the head vampire in Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot. I’ve actually got this guy hissing at me and trying to bite me on video which I will try to get up at some point. A photo here will do quite nicely for now.
Also too, I had a bit of a run in with Frankenstein on this very afternoon during my walk through Salem. Ho, hum, just a typical day on the Pedestrian Mall!
Look see! There goes the Bronze Witch! Oops, no, she can’t walk, she’s a statue, but there she is. I love her to death!
I had a wonderful romp with the squirrels in the Howard Street cemetery along my way. Don’t they have an interesting place to live?! They seem to be looking at me right in the eyes which makes for fabulous photos as you can see. Always, with the camera ready!
What a fun day this is. All these wonderful monsters and wild animals greeting me as I make my way back to my hotel. And now I am back to my room, I enter, glare at the bed. Gawd, I’m exhausted and these boots are killing me! Being beautiful is hard work! I’d like to go do another harbor tour but I’ve got to go rest and that’s just what I do. The streets are quiet again tonight in Salem but this will be the last time for several nights now. Watch out, Halloween weekend is almost upon us! I now go run a luxurious bubble bath and decide just what adventure will I have next!
Luvs,
Janet
When I arrived, I called as instructed and said I was ready to be picked up. The guy on the other end was frantic, spouting out instructions and directions to me – someone who didn’t have a clue where in the hell she was – on foot, lost and from Texas for crap’s sake! I gathered that I was supposed to meet the Van at a specific intersection somewhere in Salem. Hmmmm. I began walking and found a policeman directing traffic. I said, “See, look, I’m from Texas and I’m pissed and lost and I need to get to such and such intersection.” The policeman was nice and helpfully – eagerly even – pointed the way …. down a dark, spooky street to my left. 
At least I walked the right direction! I look down the street and it’s all houses – old houses – on both sides with some having people lurking around the porches. I’m not scared of ghosts but I am scared of people so I am not liking the idea of walking down there for a couple of blocks. Anyway, here I go, a very perturbed, somewhat overweight witch still dressed up in all her witchy best about to walk down a street that at this moment looks like it’s probably the scariest street in Salem. Oh, I’m so far from home – a totally solitary witch at this point. So I walk …. down the very middle of the street. What a sight I must have been! I’m peering at the houses as I go making sure no ghosts or zombies come running out. I am in Salem after all and Halloween has just ended. So I walk and I finally reach the intersection. There are no street signs. Now I’m not going to go into this here but why oh why are there never street signs when your life absolutely depends on it?! I do see two groups of people standing on either side of the street. I assume these are my people and choose the group that has the nicest looking lady standing there. So we wait, and wait under this huge tree. The lady and I speak. She has about as much information as I do but at least she’s a human presence for me. We wait and then it begins to rain. Salem has great weather. It happens when you least expect it. And there goes a cold wind. I have been in Salem long enough to know that you don’t take cold breezes lightly. So me and my beautiful hat are getting soaked and it will only be a matter of time before we are freezing as well. And I have no where to go, no way to get there. I see in front of me two guys from my hotel jumping into a cab and driving away. They could have offered to share that cab …. and fare …. with some of us. I would have. I’m from Texas. We wait, we get wet, we get nervous. And then alas, two Vans show up! We are elated and run and lurch to said heaven-sent Vans …. and neither are going to our hotel. The hell you say! Our group that had gathered were in no mood to hear this and quite literally jacked up both drivers and piled our asses into the Vans whether they liked it or not. “Now ***pointing gun at driver’s head*** if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get your skinny ass moving to Beverly!” And he did! We were packed in like sardines, soaking wet and stinking but we managed a civilized conversation during our ride.
I felt bad for him because he really put a lot of effort into his costume. I knew exactly who he was even without the scissor hands. That made him happy that at least people knew who he was trying to portray. As I’m sure you are wondering why, the people in Salem take their Halloween costumes very seriously and besides that the Ball was really expensive! The band was excellent and they rocked the night away. And one more thing about the Ball, I don’t know how many of you have attended a Halloween Ball completely alone but it is really not a good experience. When I took a moment to look around at all the people, I felt a bit fearful at being among all these strangers. I didn’t know a soul and each face somehow looked scary to me. Oh well, it was Halloween after all and everyone gets a scare, right? Right!
My Salem Happenings 