Tonight, I took Jason by Whataburger at around 1:30 am. My apparel: My blue granny flannel nightgown, mid-calf length, my furry leopard pajama bottoms, furry white house shoes with black spots and all of it topped with one of my Salem sweatshirts that goes down to my knees with an arched-back black cat on front with the caption, “Salem, Massachusetts, Where Magic Lives.” I asked Jason what he thought of my new outfit and he said I look like a “Bag Witch.” Aw ha! I’ve created my next Halloween costume!
October 30, 2012 – Salem Day 5 – The Day After Frankenstorm or Where the Heck am I and How the Heck did I get Here?Posted in Salem with tags 2012 Salem Trip, Halloween, Hurricane Sandy, Red's Sandwich Shop, Salem, Salem Harbor, Salem Photo Contest 2010, Salem Weather on March 31, 2014 by Janet Glenn
And it dawns another new day in Salem, Massachusetts. The day before Halloween and all seems to be well. As I look out the window, everything is unchanged although that bright sunlight is clearly not necessary. I shield my eyes and walk away from that window. It looks like the tail-end of the storm out there. The sun is trying to break through the clouds. At this point I feel like Bela Lugosi throwing his arm up to shield his eyes to protect himself from either the sun or a crucifix. It just dawned on me that I don’t think I’ve ever actually written the word “crucifix.” Hmm, idle minds, busy fingers . . . oh hell, I don’t know.
So it certainly looks like I will be able to accomplish what I have planned on this day. I want to walk up and down Derby to catch some more photos of the Harbour area that’s for sure. Next stop PIZZA then visit a bookstore, go to a wine tasting and catch more photos of the Witch House and stuff. Oh, and mustn’t forget, I have to cash in my gift certificates for winning 2nd place in the photo contest right here in Salem in 2010. I’m really excited to buy myself something that I really want here in Salem for winning the contest. Hmmm, why am I having this feeling of pending doom? Oh, but I shant give too many hints of things to come! Okay, first stop Derby Street!
Very nice to be walking outside today. I don’t see any storm damage at all. The beautiful Friendship is right where she was and looks simply splendid. This shot here, well, I’ve literally seen hundreds of these. For photographers this building is perfectly placed for beautiful photos. Perfect angles, rule of thirds! And here’s one of mine! On second thought, there does seem to be some new wood on this building. Damage indeed? Oh and here, this lady told me to take a picture of her dog. She didn’t ask me, she told me. “Here, take a picture of my dog.” Alrighty.
As I continue down Derby I am reminded once again how beautiful Salem can be but at the same time look run down and old. It is lovely nevertheless and here are a few photos I captured.
So there it is. The weather is quite strange today. As I am walking, it starts to rain, stops, starts, stops and stops and starts! Shit, I’m so confused! I’m trying to take pictures AND not get my camera wet. In, out, around, shit!
Another thing I’m experiencing. There’s been some sort of crossover here. Tourists are not much welcome anymore. I remember that once I was backing up to get a shot of the Witch House and I stepped back on the sidewalk and accidently stepped in front of an awful looking witch/lady/resident and she told me off but good. She really creeped me out. She looked like a bad old witch for real! I apologized and got away from her. The old hag. Yes, there are witches in Salem!
But back, I am noticing that the store merchants around here pretty much suck. Not friendly, cold, barely talk . . . until you pull your money out. Oh ya, they warm right up then. This particular dude, what a disappointment this. Of all the times I’ve been to Salem, I’ve always admired his fucking storefront. I’ve taken about a hundred of photos, one being what I think is a pretty good ghostly event. So, I now decide to go on in and see just what this is about. I am looking for gifts to bring home, and here? No witch shop this! I stop in, lots a stuff here. I see this grumpy looking dude sitting behind the counter at a cash register. As I’m walking around, looking at this and that, I keep looking at him trying to catch his eye so I can smile at him….. No dice. He’s looking everywhere but at me. Just like in Red’s. Won’t even look at me. I walk this way in front of him and that way in front of him and nothing. Not one glance. Just stares out the window. Well, shit. Why do I expect these people to be nice to me while I’m trying to buy something from them? Tell me, who’s wrong here? Ya, I know, they’re sick of tourists like me trying very hard to not only have them like me but to take my money for his little trinkets that are made in China for fuck’s sake. I continue my bewildered searching and I’m really having a tough time here finding something. For some reason, I really do want to buy something from here. Don’t ask me why! Eeez a mystery to me, Senor. Ah, ha! I love these! Little pewter key chains with a witch on a broom and Salem, Ma on it. What a fucking novel idea! I’ve just got to have it! Fuck that, I must have it! So, I grab two and then grab another version of the said witch/broom combo for a friend of mine. (Yes, I have friends….) Oh, now, we’re warming up. I make my way to the counter and I smile at the dude. He gives me this, “if I smile, my face will crack” sort of look as I gently lay my treasures before him. I am now full on staring at him, looking for some sign of life and look … yes, there it is! A full on bona fide glance up in my direction! Oh, I feel so special, so, so lucky! He rings me up in silence and then actually tells me how much I owe him. And, and could it be? A shadow of a smile plays across his mouth. Oh, I just shiver all over at this . . . and hand him a bill or two. He makes my change, places my treasures in a little Halloween bag and almost, what? He, yes, I can almost see it! And with great effort put forth, the man mumbles, “Thank you,” with just the touch of a smile again playing around his lips. And that’s it. That’s all I get. I can actually see the curtain close across his eyes. I’m so out of here, after-life kid!
Ok, probably will not visit that place again even if I really like his storefront. Now, which way? I take a few more photos and I decide on going to this bookstore that I’ve had my eye on every time I’ve been here. Halloween is actually tomorrow so I need to get these small journeys out of the way.
I walk over to the bookstore all the while feeling excited about the book I want to buy. A book, any book, love books! I would quite simply die without my books! No shit, not kidding! So there it is, and I walk in. Oh my gawd!!! Books, everywhere and I’m not kidding, stacks and stacks, floor to ceiling, literally tightly bound so they won’t fall on you. There’s just the tiniest little aisle that you walk down. It’s like a maze because you can’t see out. You only see books stacked around you, tied together so they won’t fall on you. I try to look at them to see something I want and I’m completely overwhelmed. One title blurs into a hundred more, top and bottom and all around. I look up to see where the cash register is. I don’t see it. I can’t see out of the aisle I’m in so I step over into what looks like the main aisle and I still don’t see it. I only see the door leading out. I figure I’ll find it soon enough and I continue to marvel at the actual condition of this place. It’s really filthy in here and suddenly this odor assails me. I noticed it when I entered. I figured it would just go away like all good odors do but this one? No dice. It’s not going anywhere. It’s staying right here and it’s getting bigger. I mean bigger, bigger and bigger. Not sure I can take this but I continue on looking at book titles stacked all the way to the ceiling, way over my head. There’s a few pathetic paper signs hanging here and there telling subjects and such but what a pitiful effort it is indeed. And now whilst dealing with all this, I suddenly hear very loudly a “Jesus-freak” outside on the Mall with his bullhorn full-on telling me that I’m going to fry if I don’t accept Jesus as my Savior. Oh must I deal with this too right here, right now? How much more can I take at this moment? This guy’s horn sounds like he’s standing right in the doorway of this freaky-ass bookstore! I retreat back more toward the back of the store and put a few thousand books between me and the religious, yelling man outside. I look for the proprietor of this place to see his reaction to the unrest but this dude is old, I mean very old. Not much help there! So I continue to fall back more toward the back of the store to get away from that horrid noise! But then, now the odor has become a full-on stench! There’s a back room back there and the stench is very strong the closer you get to it. At this point, I look down and to my surprise (hee!), the floor looks like it hasn’t been swept in probably 30 years or so. Lots and lots of dust-bunnies but not your normal dust-bunnies these! No, no, no, no, no! These are full-grown little evil looking sons-of-bitches. These are not cute! They’re full grown and looking for some ass to kick. Yup, and do you want to know another little unpleasantry about dust-bunnies? Well, do you know what dust-bunnies really are? They are not dust, they are human skin! We shed our skin and it collects into dust-bunnies! Truth! But now, as I draw near to the mysterious back room, I stop dead in my tracks. The stench, the stench has now become so strong! Let me tell you about how it smells. Ok kiddies? It smells like must, yes, there’s that. Must, must, musty old must. 80-year old must, coupled with just pure on, hell ya, stinky, stanky ass smell! Ass that has not been washed in, well, ever. Let me say, it just ass stinks. Mixed with musty, must and it’s strong! As I really hope it’s not coming from their bathroom, I shrink away, moving back toward the front. Whoops, wrong turn but I found where you check out, I think. It’s this tiny opening in stacks and stacks of ceiling-high books. Just a small slit of an opening. You peek through it to see the clerk taking your money but you can’t see him because the slit is so thin. You just have enough room to shove your money through and wait for your change and receipt to be shoved back at you. Now I only observe this because I did not buy anything in the store. Try though as I may, I never saw a single book I wanted. I didn’t want to ask for a book that was tied down up in the stacks. I figured it’s just too much bother, too much trouble. And the stench, well, I just have to go. I am the hell out of here. I wave and wink at the Jesus-freak as I go by. Ah, hell, I don’t know why. I’m sure he gets tired of people hating on him just like he hates on people. Somehow that 80s song “Round and Round” by Ratt comes to mind. “Round and round, what comes around goes around, I’ll tell you why, dig . . . .” Okay out, thank the Lord that sits atop this madhouse, I’m out.
On to the wine-tasting . . . and I missed it by a few minutes but the girl is still there and tells me about the wine that she’s pedaling of which I might add, is still sitting right in front of her … still open. Now you’d think she would have snuck a thimble-full to me but no, nada, nothing. I browse around for awhile but damn it I wanted that little taste of wine. I wanted it bad. Funny, I don’t even hardly drink but I guess my ego still wants it. I mustn’t ever be told no, I can’t have something because you can bet your sweet ass that I will want it! So I buy a bottle of wine for myself. So there, see?
Okay, tomorrow is Halloween and what a Halloween treat is this house! It’s actually quite hard to believe that I’m in Salem, Mass, the Halloween capital of the world! But there it is and I suppose I should get some rest this evening. I’ve walked a lot today, as always in Salem. That’s half the fun, right? I go to the cemetery to hug my tree and tell it good night. I love my tree.
I make my way around to my hotel. Oh boy, I have lots of junk food left over from the storm. I guess I’ll have some cereal and call it a day. It feels strange to not have to watch the weather every friggin’ minute. It still looks stormy out though. Maybe it will rain. I know, I’m never happy!
Love you freakies! I’ll see you on Halloween!
OMG, what is wrong with the people in Salem?
I awoke as par usual expecting a strange day in Salem, and strange is exactly what I got!
I talked straight away with Jason. He’s still very perturbed with me and is absolutely convinced that this day will be my last on this planet. Silly goose, I ain’t going nowhere. I attempt to calm him, after all, I am immortal, right? Being a witch, I will simply grab my broom and ride above the super storm until it abates and then, I will land gently back down on the blessed earth and continue on my blissful way here in Salem. Right? Well, Jason is not convinced knowing that I would never be able to get my fat ass off the ground. Broom or no broom, this ass ain’t going nowhere. I then assure Jason that nothing will be amiss as this day goes forward. I am sure of it. I then call my bestie, Dash, and leave an assuring message and now I will be on my way.
As there is no rain and wind that I can see so far, I decide to go out and about in Salem. I suppose that the storm will not get here until this evening so I take the opportunity to go have lunch at Red’s.
The streets are deserted. Everyone is in hiding. The Pedestrian Mall looks so strange being empty of tourists this time of year. I make my way over to Red’s. As I enter, it now becomes my first ever crappy experience at Red’s. I walk in and there is the absence of the friendly greeting I’ve grown accustomed to in this establishment. Actually no one says a word and no one will meet my eyes with theirs. Odd. I feel oddly alone. I sit at the first . . . what do you call it? You know, those little diner things. It’s where all the single folks sit to eat, you know, like eating at a counter. Oh gawd, I don’t know. Whatever the shit it’s called, I sat down at it. So I sit here and wait and wait. No one will look at me. No one will acknowledge my presence. I try to meet someone’s eyes and they seem to be looking at a spot in the middle of my forehead. They look but they aren’t looking at me like meeting my eyes. Still no one comes forward to wait on me. Odd. I know I’m not invisible, at least not yet! This goes on for some minutes and by now I’m feeling uncomfortable. I look around and the restaurant is pretty much empty. Now that’s a clue. There is a couple of people over there eating and talking with their waitress about being stranded in Salem. Well, good gawd almighty, I’m stranded here too . . . and being totally ignored at Red’s? At Red’s? As I’m sure you must surmise by now, I have had this same experience before on this crazy trip. So, finally one good-hearted lady comes over to me and moves me over to her section and my every wish is her desire. Bless her heart. She is so nice to me. She knows what all those bitches are doing to me. It is now a game to me so I try several times to catch the eyes of the Cashier and she just won’t do it. She knows I’m trying to catch her eyes but the silly bitch absolutely refuses! Fire the bitch! I don’t know why I’m surprised at this turn of events. My personal waitress brings everything I want and need, even fussing over me and making sure my leftovers are wrapped up nice and snug. She tells me that I might need it later when the storm rolls in. Oh how I love the sound of that. I’m so excited! She pats me and sends me on my merry way and she got one hell of a big tip from me! And no, in case you are wondering, the Cashier never looked at me. Even while taking my money, not one glimpse. Crazy, silly bitch. People like me pay your fucking salary! Not a very bright bitch indeed….
Okay out, it has begun to rain! I debate. Should I go back to the hotel or hit CVS one more time for some junk food. At this point, I don’t know what the hell is going to happen tonight with this storm and all. I seriously try to not think of what could happen with this storm. I’m just not going there. Not now. I’m not normally a chicken shit bitch, but there is a small part of me that is literally freaking out! I can hear this loud screeching noise somewhere inside me. Some part of me is having a hissy fit. What if? What if, you? Ahh, the unknown. I love the unknown but somehow right now I don’t! Man, I’m not scared. I ain’t scared of nothing! Hmmm, I’m not convincing myself at all. Do you do that? Argue with yourself? I do and I always win. Hee!
Okay, get real. Here I am, utterly alone, 1,600 miles from home. Do you know how far that is? I’m almost in Canada and I live in Texas on the Gulf Coast! That’s one hell of a long way! And I got this monster storm on its way. I should be scared. And somewhere inside me, I am scared as hell! But I don’t own it. If I did, I would lose my mind. Don’t you just love these predicaments I get myself into? Makes me feel like Lucy! But really, look at that storm. This is what Jason is freaking out over. It does look like I’m under the thick middle of it up here doesn’t it? Yup, I’m right under the thick middle of it.
So now I make my way on over to CVS. This CVS has been my safe haven many times during my past trips to Salem. I remember one Halloween here in Salem, I was so friggin’ cold that I stepped into CVS just to get warm. I wasn’t staying in Salem at the time and I had nowhere to get warm. I walked around and acted like I was shopping. Oh the warmth felt so good, like a warm blankie being wrapped around me. Anyway, I go on in and pick up a few more things. The employees are complaining because they can’t leave early because of the storm and all. And the mystery of why I was treated so badly at Red’s is solved. They were trying to leave! If they didn’t want any customers in there, why didn’t they just lock the door? They close at 3:00 pm anyway! They were just being bad ass bitches. Not a very nice way to treat people that are stranded in their city a long way from home with no where to go.
I now step out of CVS and it’s raining, hard. There’s wind. Like I’ve said many times before, Salem weather will kick your ass and now with this storm? Lord almighty, it’s going to get real tonight! Standing here under this awning, I tighten up my act. Crazy thing this, I actually have on a hoodie under my floor-length coat. Dang, I’m going to need it now. My stupid umbrella gave up the ghost a long time ago. It simply turned inside out and died. I hope I don’t do that! Anyway, pull up my hood, make sure my camera is tucked snugly under my coat, pull everything in close and walk. I do believe the storm is beginning. It’s quite a long walk from here to my hotel. So I decide to take the long way back. Why? Because everything in Salem is an “event” to me and I will savor the long walk back in this weather. I will never have this opportunity again – never. So off I go. Wow, this is tough going. I’m getting soaked but I don’t care. I’m loving it! Looking around, it seems that I’m the only one out here. There are cars going by but I don’t see another soul. I’m the only maniac out here enjoying this bad ass weather. Love it! Did I say I love it? Oh there, I see my hotel now. I see the lights, it’s beginning to get dark. Oh rapture! Yes, my hotel with the Salem Harbour behind it and the asshole inside. Dang, walk, walk, walk and walk. I’m kind of wanting to get there at this point. This wind is kicking my ass and the rain…. Dang! I’m soaked … and almost there. I’m literally walking through hard rain with no umbrella, just a hood over my head. I love the experience. The hotel draws near, closer, closer, I reach for the door handle, pull and step through . . . and silence, dry, sanctuary. I am so enjoying this! I blow into the lobby, wet fall leaves flying in behind me. On up to my room. I am soaked through and through but my camera is safe and sound. That is what’s important after all.
I peel the many layers of wet clothes off and hang things around to dry. I even enjoy taking off each wet item. I believe I’ve become perfectly addled at this point. I’m not even making sense to myself. Now as I take off this last article of clothing, I jump into the shower and then put on my Halloween jammies and socks so I can be comfy cozy while I brave this big storm right here in Salem … all by myself. Oh, I feel a shiver run through me. I mean this is like crazy and I’m enjoying every minute of it!
The Weather Channel is being typically vague. They really ain’t saying a dang thing worth anything. They the hell don’t know. And they keep up with their contemporary bullshit like showing radars and shit to contemporary music. And what’s this “weather on the 8’s?” Only on the 8’s? I’m assuming they mean on the 8’s on a clock’s face, but think about it, that doesn’t make sense either.
Oh dear, I’m not acting right. Why is the Weather Channel suddenly pissing me off? I believe it’s called an absence of activity . . . for me. I mean like now I’m realizing that there’s not much for me to do but wait on the storm. Oh well, I guess I’ll busy myself and watch the water in the toilet slosh back and forth. Huh? Watch the water in the toilet slosh back and forth? What? So now I can only assume that this building is swaying back and forth. Right? Swaying with the wind, right? I’m getting a little anxious here. I look out the window. It’s starting to get dark. Yes, it is raining and I suppose there’s some wind out there. There’s something over there next to a light pole that’s loose and swaying and clanging. Or is it the light pole itself swaying back and forth and clanging with every move? I really can’t tell but the sound is awful and annoying. Ok, yes, it’s raining pretty hard out there and it’s very windy. The conditions are failing pretty rapidly. There are a few cars that I can see but not a soul one. My window is facing the Salem electric plant and the Harbour. You can just see the mastheads of the Friendship and the unsettled water. It’s looking kind of creepy out there and you can see the white caps being blown up on the water.
Yup, looking pretty creepy out this way as well….
Oh, shit yeah, what a perfect time for a horror movie! Let me dim the lights a bit, turn the TV down some so I can hear the sounds of the storm, pop me some corn, grab a coke and snuggle up in the chair and watch the monster marathon. After all, it’s almost Halloween and AMC is loaded tonight! I think I’ll have a glass of wine. I got it at a little witch shop and it’s called “Wicked.” Well, no shit, right? Yup, a glass of wine, that’s the ticket! It doesn’t take much to make me happy … Frankenstorm, Salem and me!
So here I am engrossed in the movie, feeling warm from the wine and I watch intently as the lights begin to flicker. Huh? The lights? Ok, now I didn’t figure that into the equation. My mind races forward. Ok, no electricity. Did I write this into the story? No, I most certainly did not. I never even thought to buy a candle until now. Gawd, I know better! If these lights go out, it will be pitch black in here. *Looking this way and that* Jason? Dash? Hmmmmm. I suddenly feel better about the Hotel staff being down there. At least I’m not alone. I’m sure they’ve been through this type of thing many times. Oh how I hate being happy that the asshole is probably down there and worse, I may need his help. Just goes to show, you’ve got to be careful how you treat people because you might need them someday. I may need him. What a wicked thing to ponder. I go over and stand by the window looking out. The street lights are on. That’s a good sign. It’s raining hard and the wind is pretty heavy. The rain is coming down in sheets. It’s not like the Hawthorne where you can hear the wind in the eaves. Surprisingly, you can’t hear a thing from outside. This building is pretty sturdy. So to avoid having to be concerned about the lights going out, I will just go to bed. Pitch all the pillows to the floor and grab my little flat one . . . the vampire is at rest. Nighty night freakies!
At 10:44 p.m., Salem police responded to a report of a man talking to bushes on School Street.
Every photowalk I go on begins like a disaster. I don’t care how prepared I am or think I am. At first, I’m shit, everything’s shit. Today was no exception.
I had a photowalk in the very urban Houston Downtown. First thing, here’s one of my better photos for the night. I learned a trick with my camera to make the train disappear leaving only the lights. I entered it into a contest, but I did not win. Shit. Anyway, this walk requires parking in a specific parking lot and riding the rail train to reach our destination. No problem. I’ve done this many times before. I lived Downtown for 4 years and have worked all my adult life in Downtown. You might say that I have the wherewithal for this journey. So, I go right to said parking lot and park. Amazing. I know it’s $4.00. Dig in my bag …. $4.00 parking, $1.25 train. I get out all my shit and bop over to pay the parking. I notice a guy sitting in the car next to me doing something to his phone. He’s intent. I go to put my $4.00 in and completely lose my mind. I do that a lot I’m finding. The machine asks for “Stall Number.” Hmmmm, I begin looking all over the machine for the “Stall Number.” Oh, there it is on the machine, “F2060.” I enter it in and I see that it has only acknowledged “60.” Hmm, okay. I grab my ticket and walk back to the truck. Get in to place my “60” ticket on my dashboard and *boing,* I realize all at once that “Stall Number” is the parking space number and I’m in “57” …. not “60!” Dumb ass, dork bitch. All checked in and ready to play! Sigh. So I seriously think to just stay put right here in “57” even though I have a “60” ticket. But ever being the straight and narrow, (i.e. never breaking rules), I proceed to move my truck …. back one and over two. Geeez, and the parking lot is virtually empty. It’s not like I’m in someone’s space and who the hell cares anyway in an empty freaking parking lot?! Anyway, I have fixed it in my typically anal fashion. I now grab my shit yet again and start to get out ……. where’s my tripod? I know I had my tripod. I begin frantically searching the truck. Where’s the fucking tripod? WHERE’S MY TRIPOD?! Oh, *DING,* it’s over there at the pay station. Remember, you dropped it on the ground and made a “mental note” not to leave it laying there? Remember? Right. I feel a sense of urgency as I walk over there. What if it’s not there? What if I can’t find it? The whole night of shooting without a tripod yawns before me. What’ll I do? As I walk, I peek around a car and there it is, laying on the ground right where I lost it. Whew!
I gather up my tripod and as I walk by the car with the “telephone guy” in it, he jumps out and says, “Oh, parking is free tonight. There’s a wedding in yonder church and they don’t charge if there’s a wedding. You can look like you are going to the wedding, right? Ha!” Shit, I come to a complete stop and promptly drop my tripod and stand staring at him nonplussed. He has seen none of my song and dance around him and his car. Now, I gather up my tripod once again and reply, “Well, at least I can look like I’m a photographer for the fucking wedding!” Yes, I said it just that way …. as I kissed my $4.00 goodbye. And to think, I almost lost my tripod too.
I now make my way over to the train station. I like riding the train. It feels so …. so New York! I search for my 5 quarters and begin to place them in the ticket machine. As I’m doing this, the train pulls up. The driver of the train is lined up perfectly behind me. He can see me getting my ticket. I’m putting in 1 quarter, 2 quarters …. I’m thinking surely he will wait just a couple of seconds for me to get my ticket. Surely …. he can see me! I feel his eyes on my back. 3 quarters, 4 quarters, 5 quarters. I almost have it! And the 5th quarter falls …. straight through, rejected and the train pulls away…. YOU FUCKING ASS HAT!! I pluck out the 5th quarter and place it in the machine yet again, and I forlornly stand on the platform clutching my ticket in my hand staring after the train as it slowly pulls away. Can’t you just picture it? I turn to look the other way …. no sign of the next train. Guess I’ll sit down and save my strength. Dejectedly, I do just that. Sigh….
Now, as I’m sitting there waiting on the train, there in front of me just across the tracks is a lovely wrought-iron bench. There are 2 people sitting there. The bench is not facing me so I am free to stare at their backs. One person is a very big bald black man (the 3 B’s). His companion is a very large (and I mean large) woman, with a lot of makeup on and wearing a strapless floral dress. Oh dear, and did I say large? The lady looks as if she took a lot of time to make herself look pretty for this man. They are arguing. She is upset. He looks bored. They are arguing and she begins to cry saying something along the lines of, “You stold all my money, you took my car and you broke my heart!” He yawns and stretches and says, “Ya, and that was just on Sunday!” (kidding) They argue some more, she’s upset, and as I’m getting up to board the next train, I hear him say something about “Gwyneth Paltrow” and I am thoroughly convinced that the man has come off with a clever “fat joke.” Oh please, let me get on this damn train! I guess you just can’t polish a turd …. him being the turd!
And that’s how I got to my photowalk!
*Gwyneth Paltrow – Shallow Hal*
Now I’m at my photowalk! I go to check in (they’re big on that) and find a spot where I can wrestle with my tripod. I frickin’ hate tripods. Did I already say that? Well, I do. So firstly, without knowing it, while I’m keeping my eye on yonder sunset (really want to get that), I pull out the attachment for the wrong tripod and try everything I can think of to put it on the WRONG tripod. Oh, maybe I have the wrong attachment! You think? Oh dear, I’m losing the sun. Search franctically for the other attachment, find it, another wrestling match ensues. Looking around, I’m the ONLY ONE that’s not taking photos of that BEAUTIFUL SUNSET! Some guy sees my struggle and comes to help me and he can’t figure it out. Tanks anyway. And I struggle, pull and there it’s on. No, I guess not. My camera just fell …….. into my hand. Damn lucky my hand was there! I feel suddenly weak in the knees, feeling faint. I ALMOST DROPPED MY CAMERA ON THE CEMENT FLOOR! I need to sit down and I will sit down after I get this damn tripod attached to my camera!! As I feel sweat dripping down my back and ass crack, I finally get it! It’s there and it’s on tight! I give it several mighty pulls, flip it upside down. Damn, it’s really on there! I race over to the edge to try to catch that sunset and “click!” I get one …. 1 …. uno …. photo and *blink* the sun is gone. And as I suppose you know, that photo SUCKED! And there it is over there. I had to tweak the hell out of it …. my sole photo of the sunset.
And now I promptly proceeded to fuck up EVERY picture I took for the rest of the night!
What made this night totally worth it was the weather. During the early part of the evening, it was hot, humid, just yuk with an overcast sky. The sky looked like it was sitting on top of the Downtown skyscrapers. Sort of a Stephen King night like “The Dome” was sitting over us. It was just as stuffy as you would think if you had a dome sitting over the city. Then as we were photowalking along and in my process of never taking a decent photo, this cool rush of air comes over us. You could literally feel it pushing the humidity away and the temperature was dropping. Awww, nice. Then came the wind, but who cares? It was lovely!
A lot of street people approach us and want to pose for us. There’s money involved, of course, and the whole group thinks I’ve lost my mind when I keep telling this rundown, dirty little man to “give it to us!” “Let’s have a really smoldering, sexy look.” “Ya, good, just like that!” The group leader looks at me and then tips the old fella and the man wanders away. Hey, it will never be said that I don’t know how to spice things up …. even if I’m totally bonkers! And there’s the ghost of a street guy over there. Why, oh why, can’t I take at least 1 decent night photo?
It’s at this point that we decide to stop for pizza and drinks and I see that when we are seated, that I’m the only one sitting by myself. Hmmmm, is it something I said? Something I did? One guy does come and sits at my table but when I get up to go get my coke, he has moved to another spot. Hmmmm. Anyway, I order my pizza, drink a couple of cokes, talk to some strangers sitting across from me and I see that my photo group are beginning to leave. So ok, I proceed to put everything up …. breaking down my equipment and stuff. And there I am once again wrestling with my tripod, only this time, I’m trying to attach it to my backpack. I struggle, I pull, I adjust straps, I curse …. and I look up …. and I’m all alone once again. All the photo group is gone, the 2 strangers have left and I’m standing there blinking once again. Can’t you just picture it?
So finally, I’m on my way home walking alone Downtown at night (Poor Pitiful Pearl) about 8 blocks all the while crossing the street this way and that to avoid all manner of spooky people. Of course, I find a Halloween Display! On toward my truck and things are as they should be I suppose. You know, I was so tired when I got home that I ate ice cream. OH MY GAWD!!!! It’s scary good!
Ok, now I know that this is a “Salem” blog but since it is “my blog,” well, I have other “happenings” to share and not all have to do with “Salem.” They have everything to do with my life. So, tuff shit, Petunia, I’m using this blog for that too! So be forewarned, be prepared, oh just be the hell ready, ok?