Salem Police Log

Posted in Salem with tags on September 15, 2013 by Janet Glenn

At 10:44 p.m., Salem police responded to a report of a man talking to bushes on School Street.

My Photowalk Moment #1

Posted in Janet with tags on August 8, 2013 by Janet Glenn

Every photowalk I go on begins like a disaster. I don’t care how prepared I am or think I am. At first, I’m shit, everything’s shit. Today was no exception.

Invisible Train Trick

I had a photowalk in the very urban Houston Downtown. First thing, here’s one of my better photos for the night. I learned a trick with my camera to make the train disappear leaving only the lights. I entered it into a contest, but I did not win. Shit. Anyway, this walk requires parking in a specific parking lot and riding the rail train to reach our destination. No problem. I’ve done this many times before. I lived Downtown for 4 years and have worked all my adult life in Downtown. You might say that I have the wherewithal for this journey. So, I go right to said parking lot and park. Amazing. I know it’s $4.00. Dig in my bag …. $4.00 parking, $1.25 train. I get out all my shit and bop over to pay the parking. I notice a guy sitting in the car next to me doing something to his phone. He’s intent. I go to put my $4.00 in and completely lose my mind. I do that a lot I’m finding. The machine asks for “Stall Number.” Hmmmm, I begin looking all over the machine for the “Stall Number.” Oh, there it is on the machine, “F2060.” I enter it in and I see that it has only acknowledged “60.” Hmm, okay. I grab my ticket and walk back to the truck. Get in to place my “60” ticket on my dashboard and *boing,* I realize all at once that “Stall Number” is the parking space number and I’m in “57” …. not “60!” Dumb ass, dork bitch. All checked in and ready to play! Sigh. So I seriously think to just stay put right here in “57” even though I have a “60” ticket. But ever being the straight and narrow, (i.e. never breaking rules), I proceed to move my truck …. back one and over two. Geeez, and the parking lot is virtually empty. It’s not like I’m in someone’s space and who the hell cares anyway in an empty freaking parking lot?! Anyway, I have fixed it in my typically anal fashion. I now grab my shit yet again and start to get out ……. where’s my tripod? I know I had my tripod. I begin frantically searching the truck. Where’s the fucking tripod? WHERE’S MY TRIPOD?! Oh, *DING,* it’s over there at the pay station. Remember, you dropped it on the ground and made a “mental note” not to leave it laying there? Remember? Right. I feel a sense of urgency as I walk over there. What if it’s not there? What if I can’t find it? The whole night of shooting without a tripod yawns before me. What’ll I do? As I walk, I peek around a car and there it is, laying on the ground right where I lost it. Whew!

I gather up my tripod and as I walk by the car with the “telephone guy” in it, he jumps out and says, “Oh, parking is free tonight. There’s a wedding in yonder church and they don’t charge if there’s a wedding. You can look like you are going to the wedding, right? Ha!” Shit, I come to a complete stop and promptly drop my tripod and stand staring at him nonplussed. He has seen none of my song and dance around him and his car. Now, I gather up my tripod once again and reply, “Well, at least I can look like I’m a photographer for the fucking wedding!” Yes, I said it just that way …. as I kissed my $4.00 goodbye. And to think, I almost lost my tripod too.

I now make my way over to the train station. I like riding the train. It feels so …. so New York! I search for my 5 quarters and begin to place them in the ticket machine. As I’m doing this, the train pulls up. The driver of the train is lined up perfectly behind me. He can see me getting my ticket. I’m putting in 1 quarter, 2 quarters …. I’m thinking surely he will wait just a couple of seconds for me to get my ticket. Surely …. he can see me! I feel his eyes on my back. 3 quarters, 4 quarters, 5 quarters. I almost have it! And the 5th quarter falls …. straight through, rejected and the train pulls away…. YOU FUCKING ASS HAT!! I pluck out the 5th quarter and place it in the machine yet again, and I forlornly stand on the platform clutching my ticket in my hand staring after the train as it slowly pulls away. Can’t you just picture it? I turn to look the other way …. no sign of the next train. Guess I’ll sit down and save my strength. Dejectedly, I do just that. Sigh….

Now, as I’m sitting there waiting on the train, there in front of me just across the tracks is a lovely wrought-iron bench. There are 2 people sitting there. The bench is not facing me so I am free to stare at their backs. One person is a very big bald black man (the 3 B’s). His companion is a very large (and I mean large) woman, with a lot of makeup on and wearing a strapless floral dress. Oh dear, and did I say large? The lady looks as if she took a lot of time to make herself look pretty for this man. They are arguing. She is upset. He looks bored. They are arguing and she begins to cry saying something along the lines of, “You stold all my money, you took my car and you broke my heart!” He yawns and stretches and says, “Ya, and that was just on Sunday!” (kidding) They argue some more, she’s upset, and as I’m getting up to board the next train, I hear him say something about “Gwyneth Paltrow” and I am thoroughly convinced that the man has come off with a clever “fat joke.” Oh please, let me get on this damn train! I guess you just can’t polish a turd …. him being the turd!

And that’s how I got to my photowalk!

*Gwyneth Paltrow – Shallow Hal*

Now I’m at my photowalk! I go to check in (they’re big on that) and find a spot where I can wrestle with my tripod. I frickin’ hate tripods. Did I already say that? Well, I do. So firstly, without knowing it, while I’m keeping my eye on yonder sunset (really want to get that), I pull out the attachment for the wrong tripod and try everything I can think of to put it on the WRONG tripod. Oh, maybe I have the wrong attachment! You think? Oh dear, I’m losing the sun. Search franctically for the other attachment, find it, another wrestling match ensues. Looking around, I’m the ONLY ONE that’s not taking photos of that BEAUTIFUL SUNSET! Some guy sees my struggle and comes to help me and he can’t figure it out. Tanks anyway. And I struggle, pull and there it’s on. No, I guess not. My camera just fell …….. into my hand. Damn lucky my hand was there! I feel suddenly weak in the knees, feeling faint. I ALMOST DROPPED MY CAMERA ON THE CEMENT FLOOR! I need to sit down and I will sit down after I get this damn tripod attached to my camera!! As I feel sweat dripping down my back and ass crack, I finally get it! It’s there and it’s on tight! I give it several mighty pulls, flip it upside down. Damn, it’s really on there! Photowalk Sunset I race over to the edge to try to catch that sunset and “click!” I get one …. 1 …. uno …. photo and *blink* the sun is gone. And as I suppose you know, that photo SUCKED! And there it is over there. I had to tweak the hell out of it …. my sole photo of the sunset.

And now I promptly proceeded to fuck up EVERY picture I took for the rest of the night!

What made this night totally worth it was the weather. During the early part of the evening, it was hot, humid, just yuk with an overcast sky. The sky looked like it was sitting on top of the Downtown skyscrapers. Sort of a Stephen King night like “The Dome” was sitting over us. It was just as stuffy as you would think if you had a dome sitting over the city. Then as we were photowalking along and in my process of never taking a decent photo, this cool rush of air comes over us. You could literally feel it pushing the humidity away and the temperature was dropping. Awww, nice. Then came the wind, but who cares? It was lovely!

Street Guy GhostA lot of street people approach us and want to pose for us. There’s money involved, of course, and the whole group thinks I’ve lost my mind when I keep telling this rundown, dirty little man to “give it to us!” “Let’s have a really smoldering, sexy look.” “Ya, good, just like that!” The group leader looks at me and then tips the old fella and the man wanders away. Hey, it will never be said that I don’t know how to spice things up …. even if I’m totally bonkers! And there’s the ghost of a street guy over there. Why, oh why, can’t I take at least 1 decent night photo?

It’s at this point that we decide to stop for pizza and drinks and I see that when we are seated, that I’m the only one sitting by myself. Hmmmm, is it something I said? Something I did? One guy does come and sits at my table but when I get up to go get my coke, he has moved to another spot. Hmmmm. Anyway, I order my pizza, drink a couple of cokes, talk to some strangers sitting across from me and I see that my photo group are beginning to leave. So ok, I proceed to put everything up …. breaking down my equipment and stuff. And there I am once again wrestling with my tripod, only this time, I’m trying to attach it to my backpack. I struggle, I pull, I adjust straps, I curse …. and I look up …. and I’m all alone once again. All the photo group is gone, the 2 strangers have left and I’m standing there blinking once again. Can’t you just picture it?

Halloween Display

So finally, I’m on my way home walking alone Downtown at night (Poor Pitiful Pearl) about 8 blocks all the while crossing the street this way and that to avoid all manner of spooky people. Of course, I find a Halloween Display! On toward my truck and things are as they should be I suppose. You know, I was so tired when I got home that I ate ice cream. OH MY GAWD!!!! It’s scary good!

Intentions

Posted in Janet on August 8, 2013 by Janet Glenn

Ok, now I know that this is a “Salem” blog but since it is “my blog,” well, I have other “happenings” to share and not all have to do with “Salem.” They have everything to do with my life. So, tuff shit, Petunia, I’m using this blog for that too! So be forewarned, be prepared, oh just be the hell ready, ok?

Luv,
Janet

October 28, 2012 – Salem Day 3 – Stranded

Posted in Salem with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 3, 2013 by Janet Glenn

My Beautiful Salem Goodbye

My beautiful Salem, Goodbye……

So, it’s today. Sunday, I have to leave. I pack and go down and check out. Stupid me, I think they will put it on my American Express. I told them to do that. I don’t worry about it. I don’t give it another thought. There’s my ride. Goodbye Salem. I’ll see you next time. I did have a couple of good days, well, minus all the bullshit. That’s funny now that I think of it. I flew all the way up here only to have a run-in with an incredible asshole and to watch Hocus Pocus, a movie that I’ve seen over a 100 times. I did have popcorn though. It’s all good. Fly all the way to Salem for a movie and popcorn. Ok, I’ll stop.

I jump into my ride and he says we got to pick up another fare. That’s cool. This lady lives in the weirdest neighborhood. It looks like they cut a big hole in a huge rock and they built houses down in there, down in the hole. I guess they’ll be safe in there away from Frankenstorm …. unless it fills with water. The lady gets in and never utters a single word. Yankee.

We get to the airport and OMG, look at all those people in line at United! Looks like everyone had the same idea as me. Oh well, here I go. I get in line. I’m patient. I resign myself. I wait well. Actually it’s kind of interesting to watch people. They are mad, scared and a few are trying to buck the system by bellying up to the self-serve computers. They’re not working so they HAVE TO GET IN LINE. Why do they think they are different from those of us in line? Why do they think they can just saunter up to a computer and do what we are all standing in line to do? Well, they try, turn and alas, get at the end of the line (dumb shits).

So here we are. Not a lot to say. Just waiting our turn, thinking about Frankenstorm. Looking at the rain outside. It really looks like it’s already started out there. Wet, cold, love it. Everyone is strangely silent. Yankees! And finally, my turn. The lady is very nice to me as she says, “We are closing the airport until Thursday so there will be no flights in or out until then. Do you have anywhere to stay?” Well, she took the wind right out of my sails. I don’t know whether to be disappointed or filled with joy. I tell her yes, I have a creepy hotel to stay in over in Salem. So she schedules me a flight out on Thursday afternoon. Ok, thank you. I have to sit down and process this. Do I want to go back to the Doom and Gloom Hotel with Sir Tight Ass or do I just bop on over to the Hawthorne Hotel because I’m not mad at them anymore? I need coffee and a cinnamon roll. That’s the ticket! I sit and ponder the mess I’m in now. There’s a lot of people over here that had the same idea. I sip my coffee and get my computer booted up. I bite into my cinnamon roll and promptly spit it out. Shit, airport food. I know better! I just don’t know why I bother! I’m a bit undecided here, having some difficulty taking the next step. I look around and I don’t relish the idea of staying in this airport for 4 days so I’ve got to do something. I’m wondering how the airport would weather a hurricane and I assume it would do just fine. And then there’s me. Crap. I call Jason to tell him I’m stranded. Oh my gawd, he comes completely unglued. He sure is mad at me now. I mean MAD! Now he can’t help me and he says just that. So he asks me what I’m going to do now and I guess I didn’t answer him correctly because he went off again! He’s saying stuff like why haven’t I done anything yet and what is wrong with me? Can’t I do anything like I’m supposed to, like take the first step here to help myself? And it’s all my fault because yes, now I’m officially stranded. I tell him to quit worrying so much. I can take care of myself. I raised you by myself didn’t I? He’s not impressed and says that I am not to be trusted …. ever! I promise to call him when I get to the hotel.

While I linger a bit longer (I know exactly what I’m going to do), I get in a conversation with the lady next to me. They are 2 elderly ladies, more elderly than I, and they are having trouble because one of them has Alzheimer’s and she’s gone to the restroom and hasn’t come back although it’s been quite a long time ago. The lady I’m talking to fears her friend has gotten lost but fails to go look for her. Oh Lord, and I thought I had problems.

And now, I suddenly realize that I have to go back to the Doom and Gloom Hotel. They have all my credit cards tied up. If I try to check in at the Hawthorne, the cards will be declined. Another fine mess. So I don’t want to but I call them and ask them if I can come back and the lady says sure, she remembers me and they have plenty of rooms! Thank God. Now I’ve got to get a cab back to Salem!

Damn, it’s really raining cats and dogs out there (hee)! I jump in the cab and me and the driver really hit it off. We talk a mile a minute the whole time. Turns out he’s some sort of research scientist that is working at trying to cure breast cancer. Dang! He says he holds down 3 jobs. He has a family and a couple of kids but he doesn’t see them much. He’s an over-achiever and does the best he can for his family. Nice guy, I like him very much. We talk so much that we pass up the hotel and have to turn around and go back. We say goodbye and wish each other well. Shit, I almost hugged him. Not appropriate!

I struggle in with my bags and tell them to keep the room on my same card and give me a room higher up than the one before. Now I can see the water better in the harbor. Look at all those white-caps breaking over there already!

Now if the truth be known, I am OVERJOYED to be stranded in Salem! What a wonderful turn of events for me! I feel safe here. I’m sure this building has weathered many storms and I can’t think of a better place to be stranded! I can’t leave Salem! Oh how I love that! I tune in the Weather Channel once again and it’s looking sort of creepy and unpredictable. GhostmanMaybe I am a bit nervous. I sit down and send a text to my best friend, Dash Beardsley. Yup, that’s the Ghostman of Galveston for all you kindred spirits such as we. And, of course, I include his lovely girlfriend, Tamara. She’s a bit skeptical about the ghost thing. She definitely is a lot less crazy than we are what with all the spirits Dash and I see and speak to. And I, of course, have been known to take a pretty convincing ghost photo or two, as has Jason. And I have had orbs follow me around at Dash’s ghost hunts at Ashton Villa in Galveston. All just in a day’s work as they say. I’ll have to add some of my ghostly lore here in my blog. Maybe even interview the Ghostman when the season is upon us. Yes, we do have such fun! Are you scared of ghosts? Well, we the hell are not!

Dash Stirring Up the Dead

Dash Stirring Up the Dead

My I do get off topic, don’t I?! Well, it’s my blog so you can just suck it up! Anyway, I text Dash and Tamara and go on to explain how the hurricane is going in below us with a winter storm coming in from the left of us. A Nor’easter as it’s called up here or the Perfect Storm. I always wanted to be in a Nor’easter, dumb shit that I am. Hmmmmm, maybe not such a good idea to be so forthcoming with Dash. He’s concerned. Gotta love him. Between Jason and Dash, I’m feeling pretty cared for at the moment. Dash wants to know if I’m safe and how am I money-wise. Bless him for being such a good and thoughtful friend.

Hawthorne PumpkinsI now call Jason and he’s resigned to my plight. He tells me NOT to leave the hotel and I say, ok, I promise. I hang up the phone and promptly go out and have dinner at the Hawthorne Hotel. Great food, warm cozy place and I snap a few photos of their pumpkins. I linger and have a couple of cocktails at the bar. This is a lovely, old hotel. When it storms and you are here in the Hawthorne, the wind whistles through the ancient eaves of the windows. With its old Victorian design and stormy sounds, well, I could not feel more at home and happy. The hotel is decked out in its Halloween trappings making the visuals perfectly complete. I am one happy girl at this juncture but try though as I may, I can’t seem to find one single orange feather here. Since my first trip here and my experiences in the hotel, well, I will always look for orange feathers at the Hawthorne Hotel. I liken it to looking for beads in New Orleans! Oh yes! For those of you who do not remember or have neglected your duty to read this blog backwards and forwards, the Hawthorne Hotel IS haunted. Yup, I had an experience right here in this wonderful hotel!

Halloween WeekOh my gawd, how I do run on! I almost forgot, it’s the beginning of Halloween week but first we’ve got to weather this storm. Frankenstorm!

October 27, 2012 – Salem Day 2 – Hocus Pocus Day!

Posted in Salem with tags , , , , , , on June 17, 2013 by Janet Glenn

Salem Hocus PocusOkay, today is the day! Tonight is the showing of Hocus Pocus in Salem Common! I’ve been so looking forward to this. I know, I’m such a dork! GROW UP! HELL NO!! I never want to be a grown up!! Never!! This is going to be cool. There are parts of the movie that were filmed in Salem Common and I’ll be watching the movie in Salem Common. Of all the times I’ve seen that movie, I never dreamed I’d be watching it right where it was filmed. I always wondered why I was so drawn to that movie. I watched it over and over through the years. Now I know why. It’s the crazy city of Salem and God only knows why it’s so important to me.

So for now, it’s Saturday in Salem. Tonight is the night of all the Halloween festivities. What fun and crowded? Geez, you would think it’s already Halloween! I can barely walk through the streets because of so many people! I’m getting photos, of course, but I’m getting knocked around so much, it’s pretty tough going.

I decide to go back to the hotel and dress a little warmer. I’m actually pretty much actively hating on the people working here in the hotel but the room maids are so nice and friendly with me. I think somehow they feel my sadness and are drawn to me. I’ve never had the room servers quite treat me as nicely as these. I talk and laugh with them. I’m glad they are here. And…… I’m suddenly hearing things on the TV about a Hurricane Sandy……

So now I’m thinking I will need to get to the Common a little early so I can get a good spot …. on the ground. I dress warm and have my camera, of course … always. I decide to get popcorn and a coke. So now I walk over to Salem Common. It’s a few blocks over from my hotel. Awww dusk in Salem. There is no more beautiful time in Salem. Hell, to me, dusk in Salem is an event to savor!

I get my popcorn and coke, pick my spot in front of the screen and stand there and eat all my popcorn before the movie even starts! Pig – Right. The crowd gathers. Not as many people as I thought but still quite a few. I try not to get too close to really little kids. They make me nervous. And believe it or not, Hocus Pocus is not really a movie for kids. It is Disney but not so much for kids.

Hocus Pocus Movie PosterSo, it’s cold. I’m waiting, even bored because I already ate my popcorn. People are showing up and I pull up a leaf and sit on the ground. It’s sort of wet. Alright already, stick the DVD in, man. And there it goes. I sit enrapt. The most enjoyable thing really was listening to the kids comment on what they are seeing on the screen is all around us. One kid stood up pointing at the screen saying, “We are there!” They were loving it and I did too. As I said, it doesn’t take much to make me happy!

And it’s over and I enjoyed it so much for the 100th time!

Ok, all right, hungry. Since this is a big party night, everything is packed. I walk over to the Hawthorne Hotel and look in the window and watch the Halloween Ball that’s going on in there. Quite a good crowd, strobe lights, live band, costumes …. and I don’t want to be in there. Two Halloween Balls alone is quite enough for me. I did actually fall in love there once. I wonder if he’s in there now. I wonder if he IS in there, did he look for me? Silly. Silly old woman ….

Seeing many, many costumes on the Pedestrian Mall. Now there’s something, the whole crew from the Wizard of Oz. Their costumes look so good, almost like the originals. Definitely worthy of the grand prize!

Hungry! Welp, back to the same place I guess! I saunter on over to my pizza place once again. They are really crowded and when I order my food, the lady makes a comment about me always having my camera with me. So, what of it, huh? Yes, my camera stays with me. It is quite simply why I’m here!

Now the fun begins yet again. I squeeze into a corner seat and begin to wait. My phone begins to ring and it’s Jason. Dang! He’s frantic …. and mad! He’s bitching me out because I’m apparently going on my merry way and not even considering that a Hurricane named Sandy is out there. I guess it’s heading this way and I don’t have a clue. Jason wants to know how I can be so oblivious to the danger that could be heading my way. Well, you know, I’ve just seen Hocus Pocus in Salem Common. I had popcorn and everything! There’s wonderful costumes everywhere and I’m waiting on my pizza. What possibly could be amiss? All’s right with the world, right? After all, I’m in Salem! And shit, he goes off like a rocket and yells at me and demands that I return home this instant! Get my ass back to the hotel and schedule a flight home NOW!

Salem Witch MuseumOkay, shit, guess I’ll do that. I stay long enough to eat then I head back to my room all dejected and shit. Guess I’m cutting this trip short. And I now think of Sir Tight Ass at the hotel wanting all that money from me and I’m only staying 2 nights! I didn’t even get to see the Witch House! I didn’t get to tour the Salem Witch Museum again and Count Orlok’s! Dang, Count Orlok’s for shit’s sake! I haven’t even spent my gift certificates that I got for winning that photo contest here in Salem! Bloody hell! I wanted to ride the trolley, do a ghost cruise, maybe ride the ferry to Boston! It all passes away right in front of my eyes. The whole trip …. gone.

Salem and Hurricane SandyI enter the hotel and I think this place is jinxed, unlucky, a proverbial black cloud overhead. Doom and Gloom Hotel, Salem, Mass. Every time I walk in here I have bad luck. My last time here was the shits and flat tires. Geeez. Every time, the shit begins to fly (literally). I get comfy again in my room and plant myself in front of my computer with the Weather Channel tuned in on the TV. Hmmmm, looks like rain. Assholes placed strategically around the East Coast with NO weather happening behind them. What the hell? I jump into United and change my flight from next Friday to this Sunday. Bloody Hell! They charge me $70.00. I know, Bloody Hell!! Anyway, done. The only thing to do now is to wait for tomorrow and go home. I call Jason and tell him I’m coming home tomorrow and the time. I guess now he can rest and stop being completely at his wit’s end with me. He doesn’t like it when I come up here not one bit and now Frankenstorm has got him at his complete limit with me.

So now I sort of start packing. My heart’s not in it at all. I do keep the weather tuned in and play on the Internet instead of packing. What, me worry? I gots no problems. I’m flying home tomorrow.

Then suddenly, a text message comes through my phone. Hmm, it’s from United. Probably reminding me of my flight tomorrow. I press the button and I see only one word. “Cancelled.” What the fuck? My flight tomorrow is cancelled? What? I’m beginning to feel a bit apprehensive here. They’ve cancelled my flight with Frankenstorm on the way? Now what do I do? Seems like I said that before on this trip. What the bloody hell do I do now? I immediately get on the phone and call Jason to tell him my flight is cancelled. That did NOT make his day. All the while, I got United up on my computer and I’m trying to reschedule or something and their web site starts doing some kind of weird looping thing. You can’t get to where you need to be on the site. It just keeps taking you through some crazy looping thing. Well, I’ve had enough of that. So I get on the phone and try to call United. It takes me a few times but I finally hear their stupidly helpful greeting and they say the wait will be about 45 minutes. Well, at least they’re not telling me to hang up and call back later. So I put the phone on speaker and I wait … and wait … and wait … and wait … and wait! Gosh, it’s getting late and I’m sleepy. I don’t want to hang up because they might answer at any moment and I’ve got to talk to them! So finally, I lay down in the bed and I’m still on hold with United. I’m about to fall asleep. Well, for cripes sake, I’ve been on hold for over 3 hours! I guess they are not going to answer. Every asshole on the East Coast is probably calling them right now. So what do I do now? Yes, another fine mess I’ve got myself into. So I decide to check out tomorrow and go to the airport. They will have to deal with me then. I’m not leaving that airport unless they put me on an airplane. I arrange my ride to the airport in the morning. They are happy to help me. I would be too for $50.00 plus tip …….

Salem Hocus Pocus MovieSo now I go to bed. Damn, it seems like such a long time ago when I saw Hocus Pocus. Party’s over, trip is done.

Crap.

October 26, 2012 – Salem Day 1

Posted in Salem with tags , , , , , on June 3, 2013 by Janet Glenn

Let me tell you, my Salem trip for 2012 was one disaster after the other! I mean a disaster on top of a disaster on top of a disaster! I’m not making this up! It sucked, SUCKED from the first moment I stepped into my hotel in Salem! But I’ve gotten ahead of myself here. Let’s back up a bit. So here we go….

This trip has turned me into the bitter hag you see before you. I learned a lesson right away and that is to not fly out of Houston, Texas early on a Friday morning in October. Like I get to the airport, cool so far. There’s a pretty long line checking in but it’s moving right along. NO CHECK BAGGAGE FEE for me! Yay! Thank you United Credit Card! Continuing on, hoping for a uneventful Security experience but NO! They tell us to move along to another security area just up those stairs, down that corridor, up the escalator, turn to the right, take the elevator up 2 floors, turn right again and then make a left and walk for about 2 miles, then go through the glass doors – the ones marked with a big ass “B”, go down the hall to the left, board the tram, take a short ride across the ramp, disembark said tram but do it quickly, then enter the door in the middle on the left and then get in the line on the right and be sure to have your boarding pass and drivers license on the ready.  I see that the line stretches all the way around the terminal and I get at the end of it and I stand there blinking. Can’t you just picture it? Hopefully, I stare forward, waiting my turn.

Why is Security so traumatic? I guess once you’re fully dressed, it’s a real pisser to have to take off shit that you’ve just put on. So here I am struggling to get shit off. I see a shoe fly over everyone’s heads over there, a belt is tossed up in the air across there, someone’s hair extension flips in the air like an olympic diver, 2 men are having a tug of war with a bag, another shoe flies, a tiny old lady is tossed this way and that! Oh my, poor dear. Whoa, you touch me, you die! EVERYTHING IN THE PLASTIC TUB EXCEPT USED TAMPONS. These should ALL be disposed of in the tiny restrooms on the airplane. Open laptop/camera bag. Take out said laptop. Ok, walk through. No, don’t walk! The bitch stands in front of me wagging her fingers at me.  Ok, walk, no wait, wait! Well, for cripes sake! Ok, walk, WALK THROUGH! Whew, I made it. That was HARD! Suddenly I feel free – like liberated. Checking, barely enough time to get dressed and a pit stop. They are already calling the flight! Shit……. run! Ignore toilet paper stuck to shoe. Gawd, don’t you just hate that? Now entering the airplane, this plane is packed! I mean standing on the wing room only! This makes me uneasy. I get to my seat and see that someone is sitting there in my window seat and his lady is in the middle seat. Crap, I want my fucking window seat but with the airplane as packed as it is what with the people behind me waiting to be seated, I agree to take the aisle seat and he’s got my window. Not a happy camper at all. Now tell me this, why oh why do the people sitting next to the windows insist on keeping the shutters closed? I look around. Not one glimpse of the outside. Not one! The whole way! I love seeing the fall trees as we get close but this time I’m stuck watching “Dark Shadows” which I cannot hear a word of WITH the earphones. Is it my imagination but since United took over Continental, these airplanes really suck? The Captain must be sensitive about this and announces that United has bought new airplanes but we are NOT on one. No shit, boss. Oh dear, enter foul mood!

We finally land in Boston and I can’t get out of that airplane fast enough, but yes, everything is as a remember it. I can feel the dark clouds lift. I grab my bag and go outside and there’s my ride! Works every time! I like my driver. He takes me around the long way and through some of the towns that surround Salem. Gave me a good tour he did and it didn’t cost extra! It is SO beautiful here. Interestingly, Salem and the surrounding areas are literally cut from solid rock. It looks like rocky mountain tops that were somehow cut to allow for cities. I bet it’s ancient mountain tops and I bet they are really high and these cities sit on the tippy top of them. This area is surrounded by water, just imagine how tall these mountains are under the water. Freaky!

And now the trouble begins. The shit begins to fly. The shit hits the fan! The fur begins to fly. It’s a bad day at Black Rock! Ok, I’ll stop. You get the picture. Proceed…..

The first thing is that there’s a hint, just a hint mind you, that a monster storm called Hurricane Sandy may have been following me to the northeast. Aww, I ain’t scared. I’m going to Salem and that’s that! And I do and here I am. We roll up in front of the Salem Waterfront Hotel and with ghost tours dancing in my head, I get all my stuff and walk in. I’m glad to be here …… but that won’t last long!

INTERMISSION!

Salem Beauty 2012

HA! WHAT A TIME FOR AN INTERMISSION, HUH?

Just kidding….

I approach the front desk and there’s this guy working there. He’s young, nice looking, cold, aloof, and he takes my American Express card and rings it up and announces that there’s not enough on the card to cover my whole stay at the hotel. What?! My whole stay? Yes, he says. I say to him that normally since I’ve already paid for one night deposit, the hotel doesn’t usually tally out the bill until at checkout. I’m completely prepared for that and I normally pay like that. He now informs me that that is not how it’s handled and I will need to cover the whole bill right now and we are $800 short. Well, I say I was expecting to use my payday in a few days to clear out the bill, so the $1,300 that’s on my American Express should fix things quite nicely until I check out. No, he says, we won’t be doing it that way and he just stands there looking at me. The next move is mine. So to say I was embarrassed is an understatement. I was very angry at this guy but I can’t just walk out like I want to. Finding a room in Salem during Halloween week is impossible! Now the very real idea of being homeless in Salem looms ahead of me. So I panic (always a solution) and begin pulling out my credit cards of which I was depending on for food and spending money. With each card chipping away at that $800, I still don’t quite make it. I’m sweating now and completely mortified and distraught. I do think this guy is enjoying watching me squirm before him. And then finally the girl that is working the front desk along side of him has had enough and she suggests calling the manager, who, the guy says is not in the hotel presently. She then suggests that he let me check in for the night and we could work it out in the morning. She’s fed-up with him and so am I! And then as I gather myself, face in a full red flush, the girl lamely tells the guy, “Oh, give her her Halloween Bag” and he grabs said bag from a pile of them behind him and hands it to me. I squeek, “Thank you” and creep away to the elevator like the low-life bitch that I am…..

By the time I get to my room, I’m fully mortified and hurt. I never expected something like that to happen. I’ve stayed here before, I’ve never had that problem. Not even at the Hawthorne Hotel, which I will be going back to now! I settle in my room and I get on the Internet to check my money and I realize that every credit card I gave to that guy now has a hold on it to be sure that the hotel gets it’s money. I now officially have NO MONEY while I’m here in Salem. I tried to use a card to pay for a tour and it was declined! I am in trouble, I begin to cry. What do I do? And they are going to want even more money in the morning. What the fuck am I going to do? Payday is not until next week! Oh, I’ve got myself into a fine mess. I can’t eat, take tours, I’ll be homeless…… 1600 miles from home and all alone……

And then I remember my tiny Las Vegas friend. The one I went to Las Vegas with. I swore to her that I would NEVER ask her for anything. She’s had so much loss in her life and I don’t want to affect her negatively in any way… but what can I do? So I pull myself together and call her. I’d rather have someone push pins under my fingernails than do this but I must. I explain my situation to her and she is very gracious and gives me her credit card number while I apologize profusely to her. I promise her that the credit card won’t be used, I’ll just give it to the hotel so they will shut the fuck up. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I run downstairs with the card number and give it to Sir Tight Ass and all is well with the world.

My other saving grace is my Wells Fargo account. Wells Fargo allows cash advances in emergencies and if this isn’t an emergency, then I don’t know what is. I get an advance and now I have some cash in my pocket. I love you Wells Fargo. You have saved me once again. My experience in Las Vegas is still very much with me and Wells Fargo was right there with me…… even at midnight! Thank you! And now there will be peace throughout the land…… well, sort of!

So you don’t know what happened in Las Vegas? Oh, you will, you will!

Salem NY Deli & PizzaOkay now, can I get on with my vacation, huh? So now the tour is out but I am starving and it is Friday night in Salem. I pull myself together, stop crying, and go to my favorite pizza place in the Mall. Wow, it’s really crowded. I put in my order and sit and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and friggin’ wait! I notice the couple next to me waiting and I ask if they had been waiting long. They say, ya, about an hour. What? An hour? Sheeiitt. I’m hungry and really begin to worry here. Do you do that? You start to worry about getting your food and your whole world reduces down to just that one thought, will I ever get my food? You watch them, maybe that’s mine he’s working on over there. No, that went to those people. Well, they’re still working back there. No one is standing around doing nothing. Oh there maybe? No not mine. I look at my watch, man, this trip’s not going so well. I just want to eat my pizza. I look at the people next to me, they are still waiting. Why do we want others to suffer along with us? Somehow it makes us feel better. Wait, wait, waiting. Maybe I should leave. I’ve been here…… Oh! My number was called! Wow! Shit! Wow! I got my pizza, I got my pizza! Isn’t it funny what bad luck reduces us to….. and the people next to me, still waiting. Dang! I dive in and feel bad for them all at the same time! Their pizza finally comes. I now notice that he’s carrying some bongo drums and she’s carrying a saw, you know, one of those old timey flexible ones? Oh, I know, they’re a street act. You know how when you flex the saw and run a violin bow across it, it makes this weird sort of music? Ya, I’ve seen that and when they opened their case, it was FULL of cash. Ya, that’s what they do and now they can eat. Good, very good. It doesn’t take much to make me happy now as I eat my pizza with my tear-stained face. Oh pulleeeze!

I eat as much pizza as I can, grateful for small favors. Oh stop…… I now take to the streets of Salem and try my hand at some night photography. I usually really suck at it but this is actually looking pretty good. I’m using my tripod and people are walking up behind me and admiring my shots. Wow, I’m liking this! Here’s a couple of shots I took. Pretty good if I say so myself. I likee.
Salem Spooky House
Salem Spooky House

I walk around a bit more. It’s cold and I’ve had a very trying day. Guess I’ll go back to the hotel and have a hot, relaxing bath. Salem PillowsAnd I do and as I get ready for bed, I am reminded of what a weirdo I am. I move all the good pillows to the side and select the smallest, flattest pillow I can find and sleep on that. Probably a throwback to my vampire days. Those wooden coffins just didn’t have enough room for pillows. G’Night!

Intermission!

Posted in Salem with tags , , , on April 1, 2013 by Janet Glenn

Well, what say we get this shindig going, okay? I have finally reached a point where I can begin sharing my Salem 2012 disaster, er, trip with each of you. Oh and let me tell you, it was one thing after the other with this trip and it was a disaster up until the very moment I landed in Houston when I came back home. It was good to the last drop, as they say! So to begin, I have included a photo here of a lovely lady that I encountered in the cemetery on Halloween. I can say that during this trip, my photography was exceptional. Everything I captured turned out and I was quite pleased! My angles and composition were right on for a change and if it hadn’t been for that, this trip would have been a bust! But now, don’t let me discourage you for I still love Salem and, yes, I’m already planning my next trip. You know, every trip can’t be perfect but that doesn’t change me not one bit. So here, we shall begin. There’s loads of black humor here and I wouldn’t have it if everything went perfect, right? So, please meet the lovely lady in the Old Burying Point cemetery in Salem on Halloween day 2012.

Luvs,
Janet

Salem Beauty 2012

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